Can You Really Change Yourself?

Can You Really Change Yourself?

Can You Really Change Yourself?

There are lots of theories out there about people’s ability to change themselves. Some think it’s entirely impossible, others think it can be possible in small increments, and others think it’s possible with hard work.

In this article, we’ll discuss whether or not you can really change yourself. We’ll also include some helpful tips to better yourself.


Can you change yourself?

The short answer to this question is yes, you can change yourself. It takes hard work, diligent effort, focus, dedication, and strength to change yourself, but it is possible. The thing is, it’s far from easy. Changing yourself takes a lot of diligent, focused effort. It isn’t something you can just try half-baked.

The road to changing yourself will be long and arduous. The main thing to keep in mind is to not give up and stay true to the path. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip from the course, just be sure you get back on the right path.

How do you change yourself?

Changing yourself, as we said, isn’t easy. If you decide to try to change yourself, you have to make the commitment and stick to it. You have to hold yourself accountable and make a diligent effort. You can’t give up halfway through and you can’t expect to make any headway if you’re half-assing it.

The following exercises and practices can help you implement change that sticks around in your life.


Develop new habits

The first way you can work to change yourself is by working to develop new habits. Make the changes you want to make your new habits. Practice them every day, multiple times a day. Before you know it, they’ll be second-nature to you.



If you want to change the fact that you’re lazy, make a habit of doing one positive bit of work a day. This could be something for your job or for cleaning your house; something productive and positive are the only requirements.

Practice identifying the bad behaviors or faults

The first step to fixing the bad behaviors or learning to deal with your faults is identifying what those are. Spend some time meditating each day, analyzing all of the experiences and interactions you’ve had. Try to find the problem areas and address them reasonably; don’t beat yourself up, that’s helping no one.


Be open to criticism

Part of how you change yourself is by listening to critiques from loved ones. You have to get these from people who truly love you that you trust want only the best for you. Take their criticisms and really think about and review them: could you stand to improve in that area? What might help you do that?


Challenge yourself

Each day, give yourself a positive new challenge to help you reach your goal of affecting your desired change. No one can make you change but you and you have to be responsible for motivating yourself, pushing and challenging yourself in order to get there.



Let’s say the behavior you’re trying to change is erring on the side of being a hermit. You could challenge yourself to go to a new public place each day or talk to a new person each day.

You can truly change yourself, but it won’t be easy. It takes diligent effort, dedication, and a lot of time and hard work to actually affect change in your life. Sometimes, it may even be emotionally painful and taxing, but you have to just push to see it through to the end. You have to be your own motivation, judge, and counselor. You have to hold yourself accountable, stick with it, and see it through to the end, come hell or high water.


We can help! Please check out our extensive self-help library in the member's area. We'd also like to recommend our range of stress-busting products.

Jill is also available for 1-to-1 online therapy if you'd prefer to speak to a very experienced therapist face to face.

5 Key Questions To Ask Yourself For Personal Development

5 Key Questions To Ask Yourself For Personal Development

5 Key Questions To Ask Yourself For Personal Development

Have you been thinking about your personal development? Many people don’t know where they stand with their personal development. They don’t know how to tell if they’re staying on track or if they’ve wandered off the path.

In this article, we’ll cover the five key questions that you can ask yourself to check on your personal development and keep it going in the right direction.

1) Do you like yourself?

This is the most important first question that you could possibly ask yourself when it comes to personal development. Personal development is all about you; it doesn’t matter what others think about you. Your personal development is all about making you a better person for yourself.

If you don’t like yourself, your personal development is not going in the right direction or has stagnated. The whole point of personal development is to make you into the person you want to be that you like. If you answered no to this question, it’s time to regroup, refocus, and start over.

2) Do you feel like you have morally good views and practices?

Morality is subjective, but it’s important that you stay true to your own moral compass. If you feel like there’s something shady in your beliefs or practices, you need to work on it to get back on track for positive personal development.

This question will help you practice analyzing your behaviors, decisions, and actions on a daily basis. We recommend asking yourself this while meditating, allowing yourself to closely examine your whole day in great detail. This will help you more closely see where you need to adjust to continue with personal development and become the person you want to be.

3) Are you pleased with the decisions you’ve made?

Part of personal development involves your happiness. You have to be happy with the person you are, the person you’re becoming, and the life you’re choosing to lead. All of your efforts towards personal development mean absolutely nothing if you’re not happy.

Take time regularly to reflect on your life and all the decisions you’ve made along the way. Are you happy with the career path you’ve chosen? Does the life you’ve built for yourself so far make you happy? Does the person you are make you happy? If there was one decision you could make that would make you happier, what would it be?

4) How do others view you and react to you?

While it’s important that your motivations for personal development lie within yourself, part of how we judge who we are as people is against those around us. We use their reactions to our behavior and their opinions of us to help us judge how we view ourselves.

Sometimes we choose to throw these judgments out, like if we find the source to not be credible, but others we take them into consideration to either be proud of where we are or make adjustments.

5) Where do you want to go?

While it’s important to not focus solely on your desired end result and enjoy the journey, it’s still important to have a loose goal in mind. You want to know what you’re working towards, but you don’t want to have a hard cut off point. The whole point of personal development is that it’s a life-long journey. You don’t reach the end goal until you’ve completed the entire journey.

If you have a hard goal and don’t keep yourself open to expanding beyond that, your personal development will stagnate at that point. You won’t keep growing and developing, you’ll simply peak. It’s important to make goals and achieve them, but don’t stop once you get them, make a new goal.


We can help! Please check out our extensive self-help library in the member's area. We'd also like to recommend our range of stress-busting products.

Jill is also available for 1-to-1 online therapy if you'd prefer to speak to a very experienced therapist face to face.

Trust Yourself That Whatever Happens

Trust Yourself That Whatever Happens



Trust Yourself That Whatever Happens, You’ll Handle It

When going through tough times, it may be tempting to give up and doubt yourself. But this is never the solution. What you actually need to do is learn to trust yourself, and know that no matter what life throws at you, that you will be able to handle it. This way you can work on moving forward and live a happier and better life.

Why Trust Yourself?

As a human, you will often times make mistakes in your life, and these mistakes can sometimes stick with you, leading yourself to doubt yourself in future decisions. By trusting yourself, you know that those past mistakes are just that, in the past, and you know that you won’t make them again.

The human mind is quite powerful, and if you think something will happen, it probably will, so make sure you spend your time trusting yourself and thinking that you can solve any problem which comes your way. And you’ll find that you are truly able to handle anything.

How Do You Trust Yourself?

Of course, trusting yourself is easier said than done. According to Psychology Today, the best way to trust yourself is to start by relaxing, and letting go of the small things that bother you in life. Instead focus on the big picture, and learn to treat yourself with kindness instead of resentment and anger. Next, you need to learn to see yourself clearly, and learn to let go of the criticism of others you may be internalizing. Because the only opinion of you that matters, is the one that you hold for yourself.

When you are working to let go of the criticism that you may be keeping tucked away in your mind, it can be helpful to remember that people are often critical of you when they aren’t happy with themselves or their own life.

And someone may have criticized you because they weren’t happy with them, not because they had anything against you. Once you realize this, you will find it is much easier to let go of the things people have said and trust your own positive evaluation of yourself.

Know You Can Handle Anything

A major part of trusting yourself is having the self-confidence to know that you’ve got this handled. Because fear of the unknown or the future will only breed more fear and make you ill prepared for what is to come.

If you struggle with your self-confidence, take a moment to look back at all you have accomplished, giving yourself a pat on the back for having come this far in life. You can also develop a positive affirmation for yourself, and when you find yourself having difficulty knowing your own abilities, repeat the affirmation to yourself to boost your self-confidence.

Now that you know you can handle anything, you can go towards the future without fear, because just deciding this alone can help prepare you for anything life has to throw at you. And chances are, when you are faced with something difficult, it won’t seem so difficult after all, and you’ll quickly be able to conquer the new challenge you are faced with.

Overall, trusting yourself to do the right thing in every situation can be difficult, especially if you struggle with self-confidence. But if you want to be successful in life, this trust in yourself is absolutely necessary, otherwise you’ll just repeat the same mistakes over and over again. So, make the decision to make a change in your life and decide to trust yourself and your decisions today, no matter what life may throw your way.

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Have Faith In Yourself To Survive Any Challenge



Have Faith In Yourself To Survive Any Challenge

The road to success can be difficult, and if you are faced with an especially difficult challenge it can seem like it is just easier to give up. This is why you need to have a little faith in yourself, because when you believe in yourself, you will know you can conquer anything and you won’t feel like giving up.

How To Have Faith In Yourself

Of course, if believing in yourself is something you struggle with, this can seem like a tall order. Luckily, there are a number of things you can do to help increase your confidence, or faith in yourself. And one of the best ways to start is by engaging in positive media. This would mean reading motivational books and listening to positive, upbeat music.

This may not seem like much, but think about it, if someone told you that you could have whatever you wanted 50 times every morning, wouldn’t you begin to believe it? So put a few positive songs on a playlist and listen to it each morning. You may just be surprised by how much it helps.

Celebrate Your Success In Small Tasks

Once you have some faith in yourself, it’s time to help it grow. You can do this by celebrating the small successes in your life, no matter how small they may be. Did you get out of bed on time? Did you spend less time on social media today? Whatever your success may, celebrate it! And don’t let anyone tell you that any success is too small. This is a critical part to building and maintaining your new found confidence in life.

Document Your Achievements

Another way to help this faith in yourself to grow is by documenting your achievements. Although this may sound difficult, this can easily be accomplished by keeping a journal which you write in every day. Or maybe even just a vision board that you add pictures of your successes to as you go. Again, this is something that looks different to everyone and you need to do what makes you feel confident yourself.

How This Will Help

So now you have confidence in yourself, and you are probably wondering just how this will help you when you are faced with a challenge. This is because when you know yourself and know the power that you have to overcome difficulties, they won’t scare you so much.

In life, there is no way that you can control the actions of others. You can only control the actions of yourself. And having faith in yourself means that criticism from others, something you may not be able to control which could challenge you, won’t be able to knock you off your path.

Besides just helping you overcome challenges, having faith in yourself will make it easier for you to take risks in your life which may benefit you in the long run. This is because you will be less scared of the unknown—as you know there is nothing out there which can knock you off your path.


Having faith in yourself can be difficult, but it is necessary if you are going to be able to conquer challenges in your life. If you need to develop some faith in yourself, you can do so by listening to positive music and reading motivational media.

Then you can grow this faith by celebrating and documenting the achievements you conquer each and every day, in whatever way you find best. And before you know it, your newfound confidence will have you surviving any challenge which comes your way, and taking new risks which could change your life for the better.


Allow Yourself To Be Who You Want To Be

Allow Yourself To Be Who You Want To Be
In a changing world, one which is evolving every second, the best thing you can ever be is yourself. We are so familiar with the notion since we have been hearing it our whole lives, however, the challenge presents itself when it comes to implementing. As much as one might want to be their real self, without acting upon it they will just continue going with the tides of everything else going on in the world. We get so caught up until we forget who we were in the first place and what we end up claiming to be is all but just a distorted version of the real person.
Being yourself sounds so easy, the idea of just working up and being who you have always been. When we look at it more closely it is not as easy it sounds, with so much influence all around us we can easily conform. Little by little we take the shape of the mold which we are in be it society, our friends, or family. There are myriads of voices speaking over our lives and many times we allow them to speak louder than our inner voices, to have more influence on us than that we have over ourselves.
Without the right understanding, the idea of just being yourself can be easily misused. I have seen people justify their toxic traits, anger bursts, and rudeness by claiming that is just who they are. Being yourself does not mean ignoring your bad habits, weaknesses, and toxic traits and just going with the flow. It does not entail giving excuses for the changes you are not willing to make by accepting them to be the real you.
To be your true self you have to define the kind of person you want to be, have a clear vision of who you want to be, and take intentional steps to be that person. Our true self is often covered up with conditioned, fear-based, and people-pleasing complexes that we end up believing to be our true nature. When you have established in your mind who you want to be, the next thing is to allow yourself to be just that. You are your greatest obstacle standing in the way of becoming who you are meant to be. The moment you decide to be who you want to be, you allow yourself to start taking intentional steps towards being that person.
You can only reach the point of being your true self, the one you have defined when you listen less to all other voices and pay more attention to your inner one. When you let go of how the world sees you, the labels and judgments you might have burdened yourself with and you start seeing yourself in a new light. It is only after letting go of the identity we are carrying can we then create another, one true to us.
Ways to allow yourself to be who you want to be:
* Mindfulness. Be more aware of your thoughts and the quality of your thinking. Never allow negative thoughts to run rampant in your mind setting boundaries on the person you can be, uproot them before they form a basis of who you see yourself to be. With a lot of negativity all around us, you cannot afford to be negative about yourself as well. Believe in yourself, your abilities and in the person, you want to be.
* Never aim to please people. The ones you want to please might not even be looking your way. Hold on to your beliefs and do what is right by them and not just what you find acceptable to those around you. To make others seem comfortable, we at times dim our light. Do not worry too much about how others see you, in good proportions, it can help you reflect and change for the better but when your every action becomes hinged on what people will think about you then you lose yourself.
* Fall in love with who you are. Learn to appreciate your efforts, appreciate yourself, and everything that makes you unique. Most times we are good friends to others but barely friends to ourselves. Be kind to yourself.
* Learn more about yourself. Dig deeper and find what makes you tick, what makes you happy, and pursue it. The more you know about yourself the easier it is to mold yourself into the person you want to be. Identifying your weakness, strengths, toxic traits and intentionally working on them to be a better you.
* Never let fear hold you back. Often, we become comfortable with versions of yourselves that are not true to who we are because we are afraid of change. We are afraid of what the change might come with, we conform and mimic all that is around us because we are afraid of not belonging. We are afraid of rejection. The fear of failure holds you back from being the person you can be, seeding doubt in you until you don’t believe in yourself. Let go of the fear and allow yourself to be who you want to be.
“allow yourself to transform as many times as you need to be fully happy and free’’